I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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