I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
