Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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