I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
