Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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