i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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