i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
