its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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