Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
