Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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