Got a toothbrush?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dicks are not precious.
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