He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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