That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
