i can't believe i had my finger in that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
