How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize