I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she looked like the before picture.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
