These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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