she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
