Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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