he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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