My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
