I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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