I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
