Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
