fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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