Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im six kinds of drunk right now
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
