Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize