He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
