I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
whose ass print is on the piano?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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