You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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