i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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