is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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