I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize