Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
