what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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