I think i peed on brittanys purse
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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