Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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