She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can't put those talents on a resume
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
