It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
