I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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