It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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