Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
