I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i out mim tonsoeep
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