Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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