She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
