i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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