you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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