Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
