Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
