the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize