So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
