I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
