Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
