Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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