i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize