Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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