I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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