You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
