Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
