oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
