How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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