Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
