Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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