i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
