Don't make out with my wife yet
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
