you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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