i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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