Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
