I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
