is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
