Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
